Tricks and Treats

So Liz and I were buying Liz some (gorgeous!) boots in downtown SJ today when a middle-aged man approached to us.

"Hi, I'm so embarrassed to have to be asking two girls this, but I just have no where else to turn." Perfect English. He looked at us, pleading. "I'm an American. Can you spare a minute?"

Sure, we said. What's going on?

"Well, I just got here last night, and the taxi guy drove me to this hotel, Casa del Rey, that's like a casino. I don't do that stuff. I was walking and I got mugged. I lost everything — my laptop, passport, money. I don't have money or a place to stay. Look, here's my plane ticket to prove what I'm saying. I'm from Florida. Anthony, that's my name. It's even tattooed on my arm. Look, I don't know what to do. The embassy and the police just drove me around. I can't pick up a wire transfer until I get a new passport. I need your help. I'll send you free hams every Christmas if you can just help me."

My BS radar and my bleeding-heart-liberal radar (and my free-food radar, of course) were simultaneously activated, fogging my judgement. Naturally I referred to my backup: Grupo de Kansas, specifically Zaida.

"One second," I said. "I'm going to call someone who would know what to do." I told the Zaida the story on the phone.

"What do you think? How can we help?" I said. I avoided the word 'scam' in case he could hear me.

"I don't know, Bailey..." Zaida said. "I know you want to be nice, but this is a pretty common thing. Even for Americans to do. I wouldn't give him anything. If you're feeling nice we could call the embassy for him, but even then, I just don't know..."

"Have you called the OIJ? The embassy? The police?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I just... they just drove me around. They can't do anything."

While I finished talking to Zaida, he went back in and told Liz about his messy divorce and why he had come to Costa Rica in the first place (he was avoiding his divorce settlement). Zaida, always wise, finished telling me her opinion. And then there's me, standing uncomfortably outside the shoe store, while the man returned and started staring at me expectantly. I didn't know what to say.

Just then, Liz strides out of the store, eyes wide, phone in hand.

"Bailey. We've got to go. Maggie just called. She's lost in San Pedro and can't find the bus stop, and she's really sick..."

"Oh my gosh," I said, caught off guard. Maggie wasn't feeling great earlier. "Yeah. We've got to go."

"Look, I'm so sorry, sir," Liz said. "Here's my phone number. I really hope everything works out." And we half-jogged back toward the bus stop.

--

As you might have divined, now, Maggie was just fine. But Liz almost convinced me in her moment of fake panic (even though the chances of Maggie wandering San Pedro lost are about zero. She's one of the most level-headed people I know.) And, if you were still nervous, she didn't give him her phone number.

Time to debrief. ALLRIGHT, Mr. Ineedyourmoney. Here's what you did well and did not do well, regardless of whether or not your story was true:

Good ideas

Bad ideas

Specific details, like dropping the name of a legitimate sketchy place I have seen before (Hotel del Rey) A detailed story about getting mugged, which caused me to sympathize personally, although he probably didn't realize it Showing a tattoo of his name that matches the name of the plane tickets he is using as proof to show that he is American Showing cuts on his arm as a result from his mugging (however, this is the most pitiful thing if this was all a scam and he did them to himself) Being consistently friendly and not aggressive, even when we were clearly not comfortable with what he was asking

Trying to legitimatize your need by expressing your embarrassent to be asking some "young girls" Appealing to our sense of "Americanism", neglecting that we might be self-aware enough to know this also makes us more wary of people taking advantage of us Saying the US Embassy "wasn't helpful" because, to my knowledge and based on everything I was told, the embassy would NOT tell you go to beg on the street after getting robbed. Telling Liz about flying to C.R. to avoid paying your wife and kids after a divorce. Makes you sound like an entitled American jerk, not like someone I want to give money to. Not explaining why you still had your plane ticket, even though everything else was robbed. Rejecting every non-giving-money idea (i.e. going back to the embassy, calling collect to the U.S., going to the OIJ) as not useful

In conclusion? I don't know. I hate to think that I might have missed an opportunity to really help someone, but I am just not sure I can make myself vulnerable again here by revealing I have things of value with me. Good think I have Liz, who knows better than me. And then we went to Pie after. It was a good day.


To hear much sassier, less wimpy Liz's version of the event (with extra details about Pie!), please go here and read about it!