An open letter to my mom, on not being too much of a gringa

Mom,

I am so excited that it looks like you are going to be able to visit me! I know you will absolutely love it. However, since our skin color and hair color are (apparently, according to a professor) enough to make us look like we could be ticas, I am going to instruct you on how to dress and act the part so that, God willing, we don't get ripped off and catcalled in English every time we go to downtown San Jose. Here are some issues we should address:

Short shorts. I am lucky that you don't really wear these, as the number one thing that points out to me that someone is from the U.S. is the fact that they are wearing tiny little shorts. No women here really wear shorts; it's "winter," and Sara was in fact so cold yesterday she wore five pairs of socks around the house. Accordingly, long pants are the norm. Capris don't really stand out either, but shorts do.

Talking in English. Now I know this will be unavoidable, since no has tomado ningun clases de espanol. But that doesn't mean that we need to talk loudly. Whenever I see English speakers that stand out, it's because we are so loud! I am watching myself on this too, so you can help me.

Flip flops. Turns out sandals are pretty gringa, especially my Chacos: all the tourists I have seen are wearing Chacos. Everyone pretty much sticks with a cute, waterproof pair of flats; if not then heels or non-athletic sneakers.

Crocs. As much as I hate to say it, both my sister and the cute guy on the bus wear them, so you can probably bring yours into public and I won't be embarrassed here.

Sombrillas. You will definitely need an umbrella, because it is raining 24+ hours a day. However, the rain is a friendly, pleasant drizzle a lot of the time, so you can go for fashion over function. The ladies usually opt for a relatively bright sombrilla, or at least, the ones at the store are all super girly. Just be sure not to bring a paraguas, because apparently those are only for men. I know no difference to help you bring the correct type.

Correct Spanish formalities. Unfortunately, some things are not totally obvious. Instead of the more formal por favor for please, I hear porfa or con permiso if you're asking for a favor of a sort. Instead of de nada as the typical you're welcome, con mucho gusto has a better ring here. And adios is way old-fashioned. Go for a ciao when you're saying goodbye. To accompany these phrases, be sure to stand fairly close when talking to others and give a air-kiss on the left cheek when saying hello and goodbye.

I think this is a good tutorial for how to not stand out here! I will send you review questions (multiple choice, short answer and fill-in-the-blank) before you depart, and by the time you get here, you will be at least 85% tica.

Te quiero!
Bailey

P.S. The questions are for extra credit and therefore optional.